Human Kindness!

Just when I was prepared to be a grumpy and disgruntled worker today two good things happened:

1- A family came through the gate looking for a place to have a small fire so they could roast marshmallows. I pointed out a couple of spots and then said that I was envious because I had to stay in the gate all day. At that point the little boy in the back seat tore into their bag of marshmallows and thrust one at me. He said, "don't be sad!" The lady then said that when I got off my shift I was welcome to join them. Awwww. Nice people DO exist!

2- A fellow with whom I went to school came through the gate on his way to a celebration at the camping area. It was really nice to see him!

Reasons for being grumpy and disgruntled:

1- I am soooooooo tired. Got up just after 5 yesterday so I could drive the Dude to work so he could fly home to Regina. Then, I did a whole lot of running around for my aforementioned plan that is still nicely in the works. Then, instead of napping, I just puttered around the house until it was time for work. Then, after work, instead of going to bed I logged on to FFXI because I needed to talk to my friend, B. Annnnnndddd I played until 4am, but I intended on sleeping until noon. Well that wasn't to be- the guy next door started moving out of his apartment at 8am and announced it by banging his door off its hinges. (Said door is right beside the door in my bedroom. ,!,(>.<),!, is what I say to that.)

2- I have a headache. I just wish my eyeballs would pop and relieve the pressure that is pounding inside of them.

In conclusion:
If it weren't for the marshmallow kid and for KH I would be an unbearable bear.

I gotta shape up tho'- the local rodeo is this weekend and I promised the co-workers that I'd make an appearance. Oi. I figure that by the time I get there after work they will all be so hammered that they won't notice if I'm being impossible!

ps: FYI

July 29, 2006
It's a good day to speak your mind, jenn. Not that you generally have much trouble with this as an Aries. However, even you can face situations where you can feel intimidated and hesitate to speak up. Not today, though. There's not going to be any circumstances that you won't be able to handle, as the energy that's happening will boost your abilities.

means: LOOK OUT WORLD!! LOL WHO KNEW I SPEAK MY MIND?? SHOCKING, I KNOW!

Time for Introspection and re-Evaluation?

Hmm... I am pensive tonight. I really feel that everything is in transition in my life. Although I am happy with the people I work with I feel restless. This is DEFINITELY not what I want to be doing forever. I feel that it's time to dig in my heels and embrace the future. I've got a plan... I've played my cards. Now I need to wait and see how they fall. (And we all know how good I am at the wait-and-see game!)

I'm also undecided in regards to this blog. It is a great outlet but why do I do it? Is it to vent and free my mind? Is it to showcase my life for total strangers? Is it to keep in touch with my friends? I don't even know if anyone reads this blog. (From total comments I'd say no.)

Friends? What are friends anyway? Are they people you share good times with? Are they people you once shared good times with and who are now busy in their own cosmos? Are they people you still care about? Is there just never any time? Or do we make time for those we truly value? Does everyone delegate their time effectively? Or are some of the people we truly care about left to the wayside of our highway lives and in desperate need of us to turn around and pick them up again? Should we ask each other what they want from us? Gaaaahd. (A la Napoleon Dynamite.) How are we supposed to know if people are being genuine? Or are they just being polite when we call, smiling and nodding and thinking inside that they wish we'd just go away.

How soon is "too soon" in a relationship? Who decides anyway? How can anyone tell someone what they should be feeling? How do THEY know what's right? How much is "too much?" And who decides these things? Do we lie to ourselves to make it all look good?

Is there a God and does He give second chances? Does He decide when we've had enough shit and are ready for the good things? Or do we decide for ourselves and can we pick our state? If we do it to ourselves, why do we punish ourselves sometimes? If He does it, then why?

I really feel that my time has come. As restless as I am I also feel a great calmness and peace. And my internal spring is bubbling. (This is a good thing.) (Think "going on a trip" tummy butterflies.)

(Something's Coming- West Side Story)

Could be! Who knows? / There's something due any day;
I will know right away, / Soon as it shows.
It may come cannon-balling down thru the sky,
Gleam in its eye, / Bright as a rose!

Who knows? / It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach, / Under a tree...
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true, / Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait! /Something's coming,
I don't know what it is,
But it is / Gonna be great! ...

The air is humming,
And something great is coming! ...

Anyway, just a few things that are on my mind this beautiful Thursday evening in July.

Things You've Been DYING to Know!

Sooo... for anyone in the FFXI community that has been dying to know, here is the type of "American English" I speak. lolz

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% General American English

25% Yankee

15% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Aaaaannnd- which city I would best fit into:

American Cities That Best Fit You::

60% Atlanta

60% Honolulu

55% Austin

55% Denver

55% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Hot Weather Temper Gauge: EXTREME

So........ after 10 days or so of riDONKulously hot weather I have decided that my little temperature gauge should be set with the arrow on the red portion: extreme. Yea, I'm a little crabby. It's just so hard to remain chipper when you feel like your brains are boiling. On my days off I stayed up all night (Sun and Mon) and wow. I actually felt half human. Amazing how much happier you can be when you don't feel sweat running down your ribcage.

So here I am at work. I need some help. Can someone please explain to me which part of "Visitors With Park Pass ----->" is ambiguous? Is it the WITH? or maybe the ARROW?? /sigh. I ask because we have such a sign and it seems to create all kinds of mischief and havoc. I sit on my chair and watch people with decision-making disorders swerve from the left to the right lane and back again and back... again (??) all within about 50 metres. Like seriously people- which part of that is hard to understand?????????????

So they finally decide to come to my window and I swallow the irritation percolating in my veins and try to play nice. Friday's forecast calls for rain. Good.

So.... been trying to "publish" this post for a good 20 minutes now. >.< Stupid computer is too hot too, I guess.

Balance Restored

After yesterday I thought that maybe I should just be committed to an asylum somewhere and left to NOT communicate with anyone. I was having... shall we say an emotionally volatile kind of day. (Read: FREAKED out about lots of stuff.)

Reasons- yea I had 'em.
a) The Dude left for home for a few days and I am terrified that he'll remember how great it is to BE home and never want to come back here.
b) (This next part may not make a whole lot of sense to some of you, however,) my good friend, B left AirshipRaiders and didn't bother telling me. He fails to see why I was furious and felt betrayed and lower than a worm and I fail to see how freakin' hard it would be for him to msg. me and say, "hey, by the way, I ditched AR so you have to find someone else to watch your back in the LS." /sigh Men. Anyway I freaked on his head, so to speak, but it's all good in the hood now. I'm just super-pissed off that he left to somewhere I can't go... at least yet. I really like 90% of the AR people but there are a few I would like to give a cosmic dropkick right off the server. Then AR would be the shiny happy place it HAS been.
c) Yesterday was my 5 cent candy day. If you don't know, don't ask. -.-
d) Work. The Friday of a long weekend is absolutely THE most hellish time to be working in a campground. Put plainly- when a campground is 70% reservable and those sites were all booked three weeks ago and when the other 30% started to fill up FOR the weekend on Wednesday......... there are generally not any sites left on Friday evening. So if you have ever planned on "just showing up and hoping for the best"... DON'T. And especially don't bitch that there are no sites left. ,,!,,(>.<),,!,, OOOOhhh the things I'd love to say. Also... in 8 hours I didn't get out to pee once. Also... the sun shines into the kiosk (west-facing) for the entire shift. And man, was it hot yesterday.
e) I think Chizzle and I have seen enough of each other to last a while. I really like her and love working with her but I am sure she is sick of me and no offense to her, I look forward to a couple days off. (Unless I go camping with her tomorrow night. LOL)

I feel a whole lot calmer and more like a person and not a banshee today. Funny how some days seem to just throw everything at you to see how you can cope. And funny how some days the magic works, some days it doesn't.