Exhaustion of the Past Few Weeks

November 30, 2006
If your sleep recently was punctuated by dreams, try to recall the general feeling you had and reflect on that for a while. You'll probably realize it is only emotional residue from all the exhaustion of the past few weeks catching up with you.

So the uh... horoscope gods are stalking me again. That's fine. I am totally off balance. School's been heavy with the push for the last round of Assignments, final lab reports and last-minute midterms. Classes are over next week but I feel like I am mired in THIS week. My brain is in a vise and the more I try to use it, the more I feel like falling to the floor and melding with the carpet. Or just getting into a hot bubble bath and sinking down into the bubbles to my oblivion. Escapist addictions have their appeal. Some speed would be helpful. (Though YES I know addictive and life-destroying, I could use the frenetic burst of non-stop energy.)

In addition to school madness I am suffering from work overload. Not so much the quantity of shifts, just the intensity. My new position required me to take some Pressure Point Control Tactic training and it was extremely painful, physical and tiring. It also took up my entire weekend that needed to be used on school work. Yes, I was finished by 5:30 both days but composing essays was not possible. Also, my wrists are STILL bruised from the handcuffing practise. /sigh

So, even though I was up for the brutal training on Saturday, we had planned to go to my Summer Job Christmas Party. I was really looking forward to seeing everyone and having a good time. After the training I was DEAD but still looking forward to the party....... then the Dude couldn't get home from work until almost 7pm. :-/ The dinner started at 6:30... The roads sucked, we were both exhausted and the party was almost an hour's drive away. So, we didn't go. I am pretty sad about that and I know I probably disappointed my fans, but honestly, with everything, we just couldn't make it.

I know, I know... wah poor Jenn. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel but I feel unable to function and pull myself out of the tunnel. There's more than this going on but I don't want to bring it up here as it's sure to cause controversy. Maybe another day. I just hope that my friends and family can understand that I'm under a LITTLE stress right now and my coping mechanism is at a minimum... so cut me some slack, k? I love you all but I feel like an ugly little troll in a hole- unwanted, unloved and out of the loop.

My only salvation is the Dude... he's keeping my head above water and I owe him all.

Hectic and only Partly my Fault!

Soo... today I have a Physics Lab due, a Physics chapter test, a 500 word journal for Children's Literature due, an essay for Canadian Prose (1925-1960) due tomorrow morning aaannnddd... o yea I'm to have read Who Has Seen the Wind by tomorrow. Next week is an easy week- only a Physics midterm and a Children's Literature paper due. O yea did I mention that I'm working Friday night, doing Pressure Point Control Tactics Training 8:00-5:30 Saturday and Sunday AND having one of my work Christmas Parties on the Saturday night?

Only a little bit of this can be blamed on procrastination. The rest is just the world out to get me.

Irritated at Winter

Yeah, yea, I know... winter's here. And, don't get me wrong. I LOVE winter. I love mitts, scarves, snow, Christmas, sunshiny winter days... but for some reason I'm already tired of it this year. Which is a bad thing, since it's just barely November and it'll be around until at LEAST March. Blah. This morning at 5:30 I was awoken by freezing rain hitting my patio door... and I wished I was listening to the summer songbirds that are up at that time. /sigh Maybe I'm turning into a "summer person." ...yikes...

School's still going well as far as I know. I am pissed off at myself because I got a B+ on my first essay in one of my classes. I probably could have done better. It was full of information, but apparently not a proper "comparitive" essay. Blah. I sure hope my friend J got a mediocre mark too, because, while her paper was alright... it was kinda simple. Maybe I should dumb mine down... idk. I didn't get one single note on my paper about mechanic issues (ie- spelling, grammar, punctuation) of course, but the content seems to have been a problem... good thing I can write properly! Anyway. Wrote an exam a couple of weeks ago in my children's lit class and I'm really looking forward to getting that back! Also... am passing physics... but not doing as well as I could. I am just so damn lazy that I get bored doing practice problems and then when I get to the exam I forget HOW to do them... d'oh! O well. At least I'm aceing my labs. I'm still LOVING my religion class, which is funny for anyone that knows me. I'm learning so much about the history and context of the bible that suddenly a lot of things make more sense! lol

Other than that, all is pretty much well. I am still loving my change in position at work and having lots of fun! I am still having a great time with the Dude. I am still suffering from baby envy (see Dallas, Carrie and Keltie's blogs for the source)but that is a baaaaaad route so I am just playing lots of video games and chillin' with the Dude to fill in the gaps. haha

The insane second round of midterms is approaching, along with "Christmas Party" season... so I will be busy but probably happy. More to come!