Time for Introspection and re-Evaluation?

Hmm... I am pensive tonight. I really feel that everything is in transition in my life. Although I am happy with the people I work with I feel restless. This is DEFINITELY not what I want to be doing forever. I feel that it's time to dig in my heels and embrace the future. I've got a plan... I've played my cards. Now I need to wait and see how they fall. (And we all know how good I am at the wait-and-see game!)

I'm also undecided in regards to this blog. It is a great outlet but why do I do it? Is it to vent and free my mind? Is it to showcase my life for total strangers? Is it to keep in touch with my friends? I don't even know if anyone reads this blog. (From total comments I'd say no.)

Friends? What are friends anyway? Are they people you share good times with? Are they people you once shared good times with and who are now busy in their own cosmos? Are they people you still care about? Is there just never any time? Or do we make time for those we truly value? Does everyone delegate their time effectively? Or are some of the people we truly care about left to the wayside of our highway lives and in desperate need of us to turn around and pick them up again? Should we ask each other what they want from us? Gaaaahd. (A la Napoleon Dynamite.) How are we supposed to know if people are being genuine? Or are they just being polite when we call, smiling and nodding and thinking inside that they wish we'd just go away.

How soon is "too soon" in a relationship? Who decides anyway? How can anyone tell someone what they should be feeling? How do THEY know what's right? How much is "too much?" And who decides these things? Do we lie to ourselves to make it all look good?

Is there a God and does He give second chances? Does He decide when we've had enough shit and are ready for the good things? Or do we decide for ourselves and can we pick our state? If we do it to ourselves, why do we punish ourselves sometimes? If He does it, then why?

I really feel that my time has come. As restless as I am I also feel a great calmness and peace. And my internal spring is bubbling. (This is a good thing.) (Think "going on a trip" tummy butterflies.)

(Something's Coming- West Side Story)

Could be! Who knows? / There's something due any day;
I will know right away, / Soon as it shows.
It may come cannon-balling down thru the sky,
Gleam in its eye, / Bright as a rose!

Who knows? / It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach, / Under a tree...
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true, / Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait! /Something's coming,
I don't know what it is,
But it is / Gonna be great! ...

The air is humming,
And something great is coming! ...

Anyway, just a few things that are on my mind this beautiful Thursday evening in July.